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| STEEL PANTHER: Keepers of the flame! |
HAIR BANDS:
30th Anniversary
"Greatest" List
"Greatest" List
Back in the day, my
appetite for this stuff
was insatiable. Oddly,
these days, I'm not
so hungry. But 30
years later, it's kinda
fun to look back.
Isn't it?
_______________________
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| NEW YORK DOLLS: The original Hair Band blueprint. |
Pioneered in the early '70s by the New York Dolls, developed in the mid-'70s by Angel and perfected in the late '70s by Hanoi Rocks, it caught fire on LA's Sunset Strip during the early '80s. And by the mid '80s, the turbo-charged, spandex-clad, Aqua Net-fueled, whiskey-soaked and cocaine-inspired "good-time" Hair Band craze had become a worldwide phenomenon. But by 1991, the party was over (cue the "fat lady"). And be sure, despite the denial of those who've tried in vain to administer CPR for the last 20+ years, the patient remains flatlined — and there ain't enough bogus, half-baked reunions or "Rib Fest" revivals that can bring it back to life.
But to commemorate what I consider to be its "official" 30th(ish) anniversary, I wanted to take some time to reflect on "the greatest" — the outrageous bands and the iconic music that made the Hair Band era such a magical time for so many rock fans.
But to commemorate what I consider to be its "official" 30th(ish) anniversary, I wanted to take some time to reflect on "the greatest" — the outrageous bands and the iconic music that made the Hair Band era such a magical time for so many rock fans.
GREATEST GUITARIST
A no-brainer, to be sure. In fact, on all levels, nobody else
comes close. The songwriting genius behind Poison's mammoth
success. And the 2000 self-titled release from his side project,
Samantha 7 is ranked as the 4th greatest rock record of all-time.
Pick up that guitar and talk to me!
comes close. The songwriting genius behind Poison's mammoth
success. And the 2000 self-titled release from his side project,
Samantha 7 is ranked as the 4th greatest rock record of all-time.
Pick up that guitar and talk to me!
GREATEST DRUMMER
Stryper's "visual timekeeper" was a magnificent musician
and a powerhouse performer. AND, he was hotter than most
of my girlfriends — a definite Hair Band plus! Check out
"To Hell with the Devil," "Calling on You" and "Free" — 'nuff said.
and a powerhouse performer. AND, he was hotter than most
of my girlfriends — a definite Hair Band plus! Check out
"To Hell with the Devil," "Calling on You" and "Free" — 'nuff said.
GREATEST BASSIST
The mastermind behind Poison not only was the greatest Hair Band
bassist, but he's also perhaps the all-time greatest rock star — PERIOD.
And I'll stand confidently behind that claim.
bassist, but he's also perhaps the all-time greatest rock star — PERIOD.
And I'll stand confidently behind that claim.
Even the infamous "masked messiahs" morphed into
a Hair Band briefly during the '80s. Although "Crazy Crazy Nights"
and "Bang Bang You" were embarrassingly cheesy, even by
Hair Band standards, "Reason to Live," as well as the entire Asylum
album still stand up nicely against some of KISS' all-time best work.
a Hair Band briefly during the '80s. Although "Crazy Crazy Nights"
and "Bang Bang You" were embarrassingly cheesy, even by
Hair Band standards, "Reason to Live," as well as the entire Asylum
album still stand up nicely against some of KISS' all-time best work.
Arena rock sing-alongs about chicks? Check.
Non-stop fast and furious shredding? Check.
Wailing vocals? Check.
Mark Slaughter in tight pants? Check.
(1) ridiculous wig minimum? Check.
All systems go, indeed!
("That Time of Year")
Non-stop fast and furious shredding? Check.
Wailing vocals? Check.
Mark Slaughter in tight pants? Check.
(1) ridiculous wig minimum? Check.
All systems go, indeed!
("That Time of Year")
Often described (by me) as "America's Rolling Stones," this
Pennsylvania-based combo was greater and possessed more
cred than the "Hair Band" label would suggest. And they hit a
grand slam with this 1988 classic. And it still gets me "chubby."
Pennsylvania-based combo was greater and possessed more
cred than the "Hair Band" label would suggest. And they hit a
grand slam with this 1988 classic. And it still gets me "chubby."
Their only major label record, Things You've Never Done Before, tanked
in '88-'89. But this St. Petersburg, FL band was THE "real deal" — and
it shoulda sold ten million copies. If Guns N' Roses had been twice as
great, they still couldn't have polished Roxx Gang's boots. Just sayin'.
GREATEST BAND
Britny Fox
Simply put, this band was the whole package.
(Seeing is believing)
in '88-'89. But this St. Petersburg, FL band was THE "real deal" — and
it shoulda sold ten million copies. If Guns N' Roses had been twice as
great, they still couldn't have polished Roxx Gang's boots. Just sayin'.
GREATEST BAND
Simply put, this band was the whole package.
(Seeing is believing)
"Girschool" MTV Video
"Save the Weak" MTV Video
"Standing in the Shadows of Love" MTV Video
So there ya go — my Hair Band 30th Anniversary tribute. I hope you enjoyed it. And please feel free to offer your personal comments below.
-Christopher Long
(April 2014)
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